Istighasah, boleh ke tak?
2 days ago
I was at a wedding some time ago when someone said this to me: 'You don't look like someone who has 5 kids. You must have managed your stress well.' I just smiled and said, 'Ye ke...?'
Well, I am not sure about that. I don't deny that at times I do feel stressed out. But a good stress manager? I don't know. But I do know that I have several mechanisms of releasing or venting out the stress. One of it is my whatsapp groups. Particularly the group of my high school friends.
Once, when I was stuck in a heavy traffic jam while driving back from work, these conversation took place:
Nak stress sebab jalan jem pun tak jadi bila baca the conversation. Ha ha... In fact, I still laughed when I read the chat history just now. I supposed this can be one of my stress management kit. What's yours? :D
You read it in the papers. You watched it on the news. You saw people posting about it on FB. You tweeted or retweeted about it. And you think that it will never happen to you. Well, it did. It happened to me.
31st May 2013. It was already past 9 pm when I decided to go to Giant Batu Caves for an urgent shopping, alone. I put on a pair of jeans, wore a jacket over my t-shirt and cover my hair with a tudung and drove to Giant. The place is less than 5 minutes by car.
I finished my shopping in less than an hour. I remembered glancing at the time when I was about to leave Giant. It was 10.04 pm and my thought was, alamak.. Maharaja Lawak dah start... So, I hurried to my car which was parked quite a distance away from the entrance. Then it happened.
I was opening the car's door when I saw two males on a motorbike approaching. I was surprised at first seeing them, which then turned into terror when I glimpsed something shiny, which looked like a knife in the hand of one of them. That guy got off the motorbike and came after me. I tried to run but he grabbed my tudung from the back. And I screamed my lungs out, 'Tolong!! Tolong!!" I was holding my purse and my handphone in my left hand. I also held two shopping bags in the same hand. The guy grabbed the plastic bags and tried to snatch it away from my hand. I resisted and hold on while screaming 'Tolong!! Tolong!! Ya Allah!'. I heard the guy said, Lepas kak, lepas... So, I let go. I let go of the two plastic bags. But still holding on to my purse and my handphone. The guy ran to the motorbike and then I supposed he suddenly realized that he only got the plastic bags but not my purse. So, he turned back and started to come after me again. By now, I should have run away la kan. But don't know why. Terror-stricken? Adrenaline? I just stood there, looking at the guy and screamed continuously, Tolong!! Tolong!! Heroic or foolish ntah. But the guy changed his mind and throw the plastic bags on the ground and got on the motorbike and they sped off.
Then I saw people coming towards me asking me what happened. I told them about the 2 guys, that I was not hurt and that they got away with nothing. I was shaken but I was not crying. Just shaken. I did not stay or considering of lodging a report to whoever in-charge there. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. So, I picked up my shopping bags and drove home. Only when I saw my husband and told him what happened, did I burst into tears.
I kept reliving the scary moments over and over again in my mind. And playing the what ifs game in my mind. What if the guy used the knife on me? What if I got stabbed? What if he stick the knife on my hand? Etc etc... I also wondered, was it really knife that I saw? I have no idea because it happened too fast and I was too busy screaming and holding on to my things to get a closer look.
By Allah's mercy, I escaped unhurt and I still got my valuable with me. Except for a pain in my left little finger which developed swelling the following day. Must be due to the tug-of-war between me and the perpetrator. Otherwise, I am fine physically. Alhamdulillah, sangat-sangat bersyukur. But mentally... Was I shaken? Yes. Was I traumatized? Yes, to some extent. Phobia? Hmm.... maybe. But life goes on. I still have to leave the house alone for work and other errands. But I think I will stay away from Giant for a while and leave all the matters related to Giant to hubby.
Lesson learnt. I have to be wary of people and the surroundings. Of course, we try to bersangka baik dengan orang but we cannot deny the fact that there are lots of sick, crazy and desperate people out there. I pray for my safety and the safety of my family and friends from these crazy people. And for the two guys who had the bad intention on me the other night, may Allah has mercy on them too and gave them hidayah to change for the good. Amiinnn...
