My kids have this ritual that they do before going to bed. They would kiss me and hubby good night. However, one night, some time ago, my 2^nd daughter, Syahirah, said, ‘Mak, nak salam, mak… Nanti mana tau esok Angah tak bangun ke..’ Of course, as a mother, I was shocked to hear her talking like that and would never want her to say such things again.

I did ask her, what made her say things like that. Apparently, her ustazah from her agama school reminded her and her friends to do that and ask forgiveness from the parents before going to bed. Hmm… no matter how difficult it is to accept the fact, it’s true isn’t it..? You never know what will happen. Would you survive the night? Would you wake up next morning? Would you ever see the sun shining next day? After all, it is said that sleep is a form of temporary death.

But I just can't imagine I outlive my daughters. I'm sure every mother would exchange their lives for their children... And I sure don't want to imagine if my hubby is suddenly not there for me. I have begin to depend on him so much that I would be like bird without wings, patah kaki or like the song by Anang, Separuh Nyawaku Pergi... if he's gone.

There's a song by Yusry KRU which appeared in Cicakman the movie that really touches my hearts. This song is dedicated to those who have lost their loved ones. OK... I'm a bit emo, but this song is worth listening to, especially the lyrics.

JIKA KU TAK BANGUN ESOK PAGI

Jika kutak bangun esok pagi

Sayangku kau jagalah diri

Sentiasa ingatkan hati

Dirimu amat kucintai

Sujud dan mohon pada Tuhan

Agar diberikan bimbingan

Meniti hidup bersendirian

Bila terasa sejuk pejamkan mata

Bayangkan dalam dakapanku

Bila terasa rindu pejamkan mata

Kita bersua dalam lena

Kalau ada yang sudi mengganti

Sayang lepaskanlah ku pergi

Kerna sayang seistimewamu

Berhak tuk dicinta dalam hidup

Sayang… tiada apa yg kekal dlm dunia ini

Namun yang pasti walaupun ku tiada nanti

Cintaku .. akan kekal abadi

ulang

Kuberharap kau tak akan lupa

Mengirimkan bekalan doa

Kita jumpa lagi di sana nanti

Jika kutak bangun…..esok pagi

Jika kutak bangun esok pagi